Yesterday afternoon came the almost-unbelievable-yet-somehow-feasible story that Mateschnitz is ready to offer Juve boss Fabio Capello $5 million, and some Lotharesque perks (any places in Trump Tower open?) to escape the mushrooming Italian soccer scandal and coach in NJ. For one year, anyway.

Since rumors generated by the Italian press have earned a reputation for being more or less watertight, we're going to go right ahead and take this as a done deal. Farewell Mo! Welcome Fabio!

No, really, this would be us throwing a finely-appointed lifeline to a guy who, world-class manager and all, has no knowledge of or experience with the weird world of MLS nor the American player, but could probably use a year or so away from the glare of the Italian courts and media. That's one reason, I guess, why we should even be bothered to give this rumor the time of day; I can think of exactly five million others.
So, make a "splash" by throwing some soda money at a guy who'll likely do a Queiroz after eight months or so, leaving us back at square one?
Yep, that's just exactly what this team needs to do right now.